Sunday, December 17, 2006
[Insert Blog Entry Name Here]
Yeah, I've had no internet connection at all in the past week, as I haven't been working at PC Tools for about that long. Here's something I threw together when I should have been working.
A friend at work sent me the following trailer for the new World of Warcraft expansion pack. Meanwhile, I told him I was too busy being surprised that there wasn't already one around.
He asked me what I thought of it. Having never played WOW, I didn't have much to say, so I said 'BORING!'.
I told him it was boring because it followed The Fantasy Game/Movie Trailer Formula™, which I will now outline:
1. Begin with a brooding voice-over. Do not reveal any information about who the character actually is or why he is brooding during said voice-over. It could be a mighty sorceror brooding over his imprisonment in a glass box (or something) for millenia, or it could just be a 40-year old software engineer who lives with his mother brooding about being sent to his room for saying 'Biatch' (in this case, it seems to be bit of both). This should be accompanied by minimal visual cues, usually constant fadeouts at regular intervals, often focusing on some glowing thing, like the briefcase out of Pulp Fiction, or say, Tim Webster's hair. Occasionally, there should be horses running around, which can be glimpsed through the constant fading. The music should be a muted orchestral number with a backing choir. Not a real backing choir. It has to be obvious to anyone with any taste that it's just a midi keyboard pretending to be people.
2. Once the speech has ended, display 'So-and-so presents', while stepping up the backing musical track a few notches.
3. [Insert Battle Sequence here]
4. The orchestra and choir build and build in volume and tempo until they get to a point where they seem to just pass out at once from hyperventilation (midi keyboards seem so short of breath...), then Broody-Voice speaks one more line to accentuate everything that's happened so far. This doesn't really help in the case of this trailer, as whatever the hell is going on makes so little sense (the battle sequence that was inserted up there was actually many battle sequences that didn't seem at all related).
5. [Insert Name of thing here]
(For anyone remotely familiar with blizzard games, you should actually check the trailer out, as one of the scenes involves one guy polymorphing another, which I found hilarious.)
A friend at work sent me the following trailer for the new World of Warcraft expansion pack. Meanwhile, I told him I was too busy being surprised that there wasn't already one around.
He asked me what I thought of it. Having never played WOW, I didn't have much to say, so I said 'BORING!'.
I told him it was boring because it followed The Fantasy Game/Movie Trailer Formula™, which I will now outline:
1. Begin with a brooding voice-over. Do not reveal any information about who the character actually is or why he is brooding during said voice-over. It could be a mighty sorceror brooding over his imprisonment in a glass box (or something) for millenia, or it could just be a 40-year old software engineer who lives with his mother brooding about being sent to his room for saying 'Biatch' (in this case, it seems to be bit of both). This should be accompanied by minimal visual cues, usually constant fadeouts at regular intervals, often focusing on some glowing thing, like the briefcase out of Pulp Fiction, or say, Tim Webster's hair. Occasionally, there should be horses running around, which can be glimpsed through the constant fading. The music should be a muted orchestral number with a backing choir. Not a real backing choir. It has to be obvious to anyone with any taste that it's just a midi keyboard pretending to be people.
2. Once the speech has ended, display 'So-and-so presents', while stepping up the backing musical track a few notches.
3. [Insert Battle Sequence here]
4. The orchestra and choir build and build in volume and tempo until they get to a point where they seem to just pass out at once from hyperventilation (midi keyboards seem so short of breath...), then Broody-Voice speaks one more line to accentuate everything that's happened so far. This doesn't really help in the case of this trailer, as whatever the hell is going on makes so little sense (the battle sequence that was inserted up there was actually many battle sequences that didn't seem at all related).
5. [Insert Name of thing here]
(For anyone remotely familiar with blizzard games, you should actually check the trailer out, as one of the scenes involves one guy polymorphing another, which I found hilarious.)
Comments:
I can picture that trailer without even having seen it.
And I used to have a Nerf Arrowstorm and it was fun. heh.
Good to see you blogging again.
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And I used to have a Nerf Arrowstorm and it was fun. heh.
Good to see you blogging again.
