Sunday, October 24, 2004
My CPU's instruction manual...
Just thought I'd like to share with you the good old days of running a PC from a few years ago...we've come so far...
Yurgorjk Computing Engines™ operations manual. The world's only Eastern-European Personal Data-Computing-Valve-Array-Device!
PC must be started by being sure that the fan belt has no worn edge, and the mouse in the mouse-wheel is well-fed, and awake. This will allow the user to feed in many punchcards and have them processed without the processor overheating, and punchcards getting on fire.
It also helps if you open up the actuator valve to the 'Blaust' level. It is indicated by an icon of a sloth's head, next to the icon which looks like a piece of cheese. When the main hatch opens, you must sacrifice 14 trial CDs for internet access from any ISPs you can find. AOL CDs count for two.
There must also be at least 4 thimblefuls of kerosene in the tank for fast operations (keep away from open flame).
Also, none of this 'heat sink', or 'cooling fan', like on other wimpy capitalist manufacturers. Instead, there is flame jet on outside. Do not obstruct, and aim away from face. If the flame jet gets in face or eyes, rinse immediately with cold water, and notify priest and next of kin.
(Yurgorjk Computing Engines™ will not be held responsible for any loss of data, shrapnel lodged in face or internal organs, third degree burns, or nuclear fallout, especially if the instruction manual has been followed)
Yurgorjk Computing Engines™ operations manual. The world's only Eastern-European Personal Data-Computing-Valve-Array-Device!
PC must be started by being sure that the fan belt has no worn edge, and the mouse in the mouse-wheel is well-fed, and awake. This will allow the user to feed in many punchcards and have them processed without the processor overheating, and punchcards getting on fire.
It also helps if you open up the actuator valve to the 'Blaust' level. It is indicated by an icon of a sloth's head, next to the icon which looks like a piece of cheese. When the main hatch opens, you must sacrifice 14 trial CDs for internet access from any ISPs you can find. AOL CDs count for two.
There must also be at least 4 thimblefuls of kerosene in the tank for fast operations (keep away from open flame).
Also, none of this 'heat sink', or 'cooling fan', like on other wimpy capitalist manufacturers. Instead, there is flame jet on outside. Do not obstruct, and aim away from face. If the flame jet gets in face or eyes, rinse immediately with cold water, and notify priest and next of kin.
(Yurgorjk Computing Engines™ will not be held responsible for any loss of data, shrapnel lodged in face or internal organs, third degree burns, or nuclear fallout, especially if the instruction manual has been followed)
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