Friday, August 27, 2004
Vent-a-Rant
I now know how they sell Diet Coke With Lime-Flavoured Stuff™ (or whatever they call it). They just have vending machines full of it, even where there is supposed to be spring water, regular coke, sprite, and even vanilla coke.
Which brings me to how I discovered this amazing fact...On the train station after the Law Revue at UNSW ended, (which proved to be the most boring waste of seven bucks ever) I used a vending machine to get a much-needed drink, fully aware that there was a 60% chance that the thing will have my $2.50 for dessert, and just give me a polite gurgle in return. At this point in the night, though, I was willing to face those odds for a drink, so I paid my money...and realised that it spat out a 20 cent coin. So I put it back in. And it spat it back out. This resulted in some mighty fierce mind-games between me and the vending machine...
...which resulted in me coming off second best. So instead, I gave it four 5 cent pieces, one by one...then hit the 'Coke With Something Resembling Vanilla™' button.
And I was stoked to hear a bottle making it's way down. What I wasn't stoked about was the 'Diet Coke With Lime-Flavoured Stuff™ (or whatever they call it)' label on the bottle.
Craig found that pretty funny.
I found the idea of force-feeding him the bottle's contents equally funny.
Being the hopeless addict I am, I had to at least drink SOME of it. I think there was even a dead rat in the bottle, which helped me get the horrible stuff down.
Oh, and I checked under the lid, to see if I won anything. It proclaimed:
'YOU WON NOTHING, SUCKER!'
The worst part is, that whole situation was far funnier (guess you had to be there) than the entire revue. And it only cost $2.50.
Which brings me to how I discovered this amazing fact...On the train station after the Law Revue at UNSW ended, (which proved to be the most boring waste of seven bucks ever) I used a vending machine to get a much-needed drink, fully aware that there was a 60% chance that the thing will have my $2.50 for dessert, and just give me a polite gurgle in return. At this point in the night, though, I was willing to face those odds for a drink, so I paid my money...and realised that it spat out a 20 cent coin. So I put it back in. And it spat it back out. This resulted in some mighty fierce mind-games between me and the vending machine...
...which resulted in me coming off second best. So instead, I gave it four 5 cent pieces, one by one...then hit the 'Coke With Something Resembling Vanilla™' button.
And I was stoked to hear a bottle making it's way down. What I wasn't stoked about was the 'Diet Coke With Lime-Flavoured Stuff™ (or whatever they call it)' label on the bottle.
Craig found that pretty funny.
I found the idea of force-feeding him the bottle's contents equally funny.
Being the hopeless addict I am, I had to at least drink SOME of it. I think there was even a dead rat in the bottle, which helped me get the horrible stuff down.
Oh, and I checked under the lid, to see if I won anything. It proclaimed:
'YOU WON NOTHING, SUCKER!'
The worst part is, that whole situation was far funnier (guess you had to be there) than the entire revue. And it only cost $2.50.
Comments:
My friend Strange Tim became rather angry at himself when he bought 2 litres of Diet Coke With Lime-Flavoured Stuff™ in Sunbury.
Anna: You thought about insight, then started drinking? Uh-oh.
Christop: Oh, for the love of God, no!!! Well, at least he went painlessly. Sort of.
Tawqa: In the words of me, 'SHUT UP!' Heh, heh. Only joking.
*pauses*
Who's Elzar?
Christop: Oh, for the love of God, no!!! Well, at least he went painlessly. Sort of.
Tawqa: In the words of me, 'SHUT UP!' Heh, heh. Only joking.
*pauses*
Who's Elzar?
I think he is coming back this week, which is good because he is supposed to be playing volleyball for a team that didn't realise that he was going to buy two litres of Diet Coke With Lime-Flavoured Stuff™ and decide to skip the country in shame. And I fear that his return may not be as painless as his departure.
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